been thinking about wenbo a lot these days.
just feel that since he left us, so many things have changed and so many things have happened.
like perhaps our priorities won't be the same as before.
or perhaps we're just still too sad and tired. that sometimes we want to feel something, or care, but just can't bring ourselves to.
i feel that i need some time to just sit down and reflect on his life, to mourn properly and to get out of the numbness that i get occasionally in spurts from time to time. i think everything happened so fast at that time, and we were all caught up in the mundane things we had to continue doing, like going to school and sitting for exams, that we never went through the process properly.
and it just feels like something's not right.
that closure isn't with me.
and that my life isn't the same as before.
i guess i understand that it definitely will never be the same again, for he left a void in all our lives, but i don't find the current state of feelings acceptable.
i just feel that it has to get better than this.
and now, i just want patho to be over so that i can have time finally, after all these months.
and i know it all sounds very selfish, focusing on my feelings only; i can't imagine how the family must be suffering. i pray for their recovery. and for all of ours too.
+ serene @ 11:02 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 11:02 PM
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