was so great seeing joanna in school yesterday! had such a wonderful time talking to her....seems like it's becoming a once-a-year thing *grinses* only once a year! sighs but it's definitely better than nothing. and i declare that talking to serene (lee) is extremely traumatizing and detrimental to my psychological well-being and to anyone within hearing range. sheesh. :)
the perfect weather, the orange moon, the starry night skies, the lovely clouds and the beautiful beautiful tune.
perhaps there really can be perfection in simplicity.
+ serene @ 10:47 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 10:47 PM
i wonder whether there really is such a thing as karma. whether our actions in our past will come back in some way to affect us now or in the future. it makes sense that it does and would, but the reasons for that aren't always very clear, though perhaps they are deserving. perhaps the work of God has a role in this, lessons taught by Him for us to learn from them and not repeat the mistakes we made in the past, for what better way to be taught than to go through first-hand what others went through in the past? but truly, some things can't be helped, what other choice was there then really? then again, what choice do you have either? of course, it's one thing to say that and another to mean it, and i don't. * 少了你的手臂当枕头 我还不习惯 你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单 太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转 我会耐心地等 等你有一天靠岸 少了你的怀抱当暖炉 我还不习惯 E给你照片看不到我北半球的孤单 世界再大两颗真心就能 互相取暖 想念不会偷懒 我的梦通通给你保管 *
+ serene @ 11:36 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 11:36 PM
downing myself with ice coffee in a desperate attempt to stay awake tonight or rather this morning, 19 more days and i'm completely totally absolutely unprepared. urgh i just want to bang on my keyboard and shout out loud with all the frustration, but i don't think my neighbours would appreciate that huh :)
nights are so condusive for studying. sitting in my study now, listening to my new ou de yang cd which is a wonderful relaxant as i type this, and just relaxing a bit before going back into full force which isn't that full, but a rather pathetic force sighs. i don't think i'll survive even if i go without sleep until the prelims, and since i obviously can't do that, gosh really don't know what i'm going to have to do to get through this. 19 days?!??! arghhhh.
have you ever experienced the gut-wrenching feeling that books always try to describe? it's just this twist of your insides, the feeling that everything inside is just wrong, and that you can't hold it in any longer. and you try to stall the feeling, but it's just more persistent than anything, eventually blocking out any thoughts you had, with just that awful feeling fixated in your mind. and you try to breathe, take deep breaths, but you can't, you just fall short of breaths to take, and your head feels starts feeling light and increasingly uneasy. and you try to close your eyes, to not think, but the pain inside eclipses everything.
+ serene @ 12:23 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 12:23 AM
yaaay great birthday this year! thanks to everyone who made this day an especially special one this year *beams*
day started off so perfectly with seeing cai! haha it's so much fun to share a birthday with someone man...had present exchange! *grinses* thanks for the scantily-clad thingee cai...it's so so you, so what you would give *grinses* then there were the lovely traditional birthday hugs and wishes, and thanks for all the wonderful presents! the fact that you guys remembered already brightened up my day :) and the dreadfully sinfully huge cake too :)
haha finally had a chance to eat my 1.39 swensens' icecream! *beams* never thought the day would come man...and movie! haha shuwan and i were saying we never thought we would be ever watching a movie before prelims, but there you go :) thank you to shane, shuwan and yihan for spending my birthday with me and making it a special one for me :)
hurhur on a side note, alien vs predator was rather funny...besides the parts where i got like shocks (haha i think i'm really too easily scared man), the whole concept was rather interesting, and so impossible that it's so entertaining (even though wan and i only really understood it after the show haha sighs). the aliens are damn cool with all the slime dripping down and all haha! :)
yup had a great day today...can't believe i'm finally 18! oh yes, i must must say one thing, i can TIE A KNOT with a cherry stem in my mouth without touching it at all!!! *beams* haha must be the aged me gaining in experience and ahem wisdom that allowed me to do that...i'm definitely gonna buy more cherries and practise hard! *grinses*
+ serene @ 10:48 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 10:48 PM
26 days! somehow the panic hasn't escalated to its peak yet, it's bound to come sooner or later though. so much to do, so little time, then again, this situation isn't exactly new to me, what with every major exam being a flurry of last minute preparations and panic attacks. *grinses* i never really learn do i?
highs and low, clarity and confusion, maybe there's such a thing as conservation of feelings as well. perhaps :)
* it's sad, so sad, it's a sad sad situation,
and it's getting more and more absurd *
+ serene @ 1:54 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 1:54 AM
things can get so complicated. or maybe, just maybe, we make them appear complicated when the simple truth stares at us in the face, because we don't want to face up to it. then again, maybe they really are complicated. but we'll never know the truth of things will we? confusing thoughts, but should it be? why?
i think life would be made much simpler if we were just more honest with ourselves sometimes. to see what is there, and not what we want to see. to say what it is we want to say, and not try ways and means to mask and hide until eventually the whole meaning of what we intended to say is eluded. because if not, no one ever knows. ever. what good is there in that?
and because of all these convulated complications, i love losing myself in songs, songs that tell of everything, songs that confess, songs that i can relate to, songs that say exactly what i feel but don't say. and that's why i love music, maybe it's an escape route for my feelings, something to fall back on. it sounds escapist, but i think we all need to escape somewhere sometimes. it's amazing how many songs hold my exact thoughts, maybe the song conforms to the thoughts as in self-fulfilling prophesies, but either way, it's just comforting to know that u're definitely not the only one with those thoughts, for someone had to have written it. sometimes it can make you feel better, but sometimes it makes you feel worse, but you just keep it on repeat mode, listen and indulge in a dose of emotional sado-masochism. why? maybe pain can be a relief.
+ serene @ 12:08 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 12:08 AM
great great song!!! 我知道这样不好 也知道你的爱只能那么少 我只有不停的要 要到你想逃 泪湿的枕头晒乾就好 眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹 以为在你身后是我一辈子的骄傲 原来你什么都不想要 我不要你的呵护 你的玫瑰 只要你好好久久爱我一遍 就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 哪个人对爱不自私 不奢望 我不要你的承诺 不要你的永远 我只要你真真切切爱我一遍 就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 最怕你把沉默 当做对我的回答 原来你什么都不想要
+ serene @ 1:20 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 1:20 PM
wow it's been a long time...
yesterday was so so fun! haha national day celebrations turned class' self-entertainment...played highly modified handball using floorball posts and a basketball in the indoor gym...sure is a weird combi man *grinses* almost the whole class was there, and ALL the guys were there! yay i think our class guys are really great and sporting man...u guys rock!!! *beams* 2 whole hours of pure bliss...i love playing as a class man...realised that this is the first time we actually played anything together, during pe it's just separated and we never get to witness the ahem brutality of the guys...sure got more than a handful of that today man *grinses* witnessing the evilness that comes out from normally seemingly docile and harmless them haha! :) we should do stuff like this more often!! :)
then went to school today for bio pract..haha of course the real fun was after the pract itself..impromptu class outing to secret recipe (finally!!) i've been wanting to go there for ages and check out the stuff there...it's quite good :) there was like shuwan, milly, hweeying, yihan, kaihan, jerold, wilson, silvanus and julie...majorly sinful argh :) entertaining discussions (poor jerold *grinses*), but rather ineffective (shuwan, you're losing your touch!! *grinses*) haha the fries were so cute..smiley faces fries that looked rather demented to me...and if you press it down into chilli sauce, it looks as if blood is coming out of its eyes and mouth...yummy :) had loads of fun, gosh i'm gonna miss you guys so much when we graduate :(
+ serene @ 2:38 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 2:38 PM
i am
ant writing revived
sunny
valerie
j(ad)ed
crys
jen
ili
emily
hon
yihan
shuwan
milly
kaihan
pam
chiara
serene (lee)
shishi
clarissa
hongking
jingjing
yaozong
huileng
zhiyin
christelle
sabrina
rosie
the tucksombong gang! :)
tzeyeong
audrey
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