caged
sighs. i can't tolerate this state of being caged up at home alone any longer. hmm. in cai's words, "being cooped up..like a chicken". =] sigh. it's just downright boring, and unproductive, cos i just can't bring myself to do any work, unless u count surfing aimlessly for hours to no end, and visiting people's blogs like every 30 minutes to see whether they are any new entries. sighs. it's seriously pathetic. i mean, i am seriously pathetic =]
*sniff* i can't wait to get back to school. only one more week... (ARGH!!!)
i want to watch movie..but can't go out. i want to watch oliver, but tickets have all been sold out. i want to debate, but it's a little too late to start at this time of the year, and besides, there's still the choir component. i want the war to end, but it's not within my power (do i even have any at all) to make it end. i want this whole SARS thing to disappear, but i don't know what it is, and i don't have a cure for it.
hmm. quite the helpless one, isn't it? =]
+ serene @ 5:11 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 5:11 PM
ARGH. vocal exploits (choir concert) is cancelled cos of the SARS thing...:(
+ serene @ 11:03 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 11:03 AM
okies. school closed, but hmm. i guess we shouldn't be overly happy about it. We get to stay at home, yes, but at the same time, others are seriously ill. Somehow, it seems wrong to feel happy about this break, especially since others are suffering from this, and are in serious danger. I hope everyone recovers from SARS..and...sigh. i just hope everyone gets well..On top of that, these 10 days are gonna be cut from our june hols. Which we need desperately to study for common tests, SRP camp, SYF preparation e.t.c. So, in short...what this break has does is destroy our whole entire june hols plan. eeks. and choir is going to suffer! *sniff* Concert is in 2.5 weeks, full dress rehearsal in 1.5 weeks...and we haven't done and memorised so much stuff yet! argh...debate was stressful last year, who knew choir would bring on stress as well? haha, but ah well. i'm almost sure choir will call us back for more practs, so :)
sighs. ah well. no work whatsoever for the next 10 days, it's boring! :)
+ serene @ 1:54 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 1:54 PM
war. i can hardly believe it. i never thought i would be in a period of war times before, it just seems like something that belongs to a history textbook, instead of hearing live reports of attacks over the radio the whole day. i can't concentrate on anything, my entire attention is fixated on this issue, i sat in the RJ library listening to news 93.8 the whole day today instead of doing something else. and even though at this particular moment, the war does not directly affect us, i still feel really sad for the whole world. that once again, we're relegated to this. each time a war ends, and we witness all the death and destruction it has caused, we tell ourselves that it won't happen again, that we'll try as best as we can to live in peace and harmony, but at the end of it all, we're always reduced to this, to this mindless fighting, to this last resort.
God bless everyone involved in the war. God bless the whole world. Please.
+ serene @ 9:09 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 9:09 PM
i hold to my belief that whatever we are thrown with in life, whether we want it or not, it IS for reasons unknown to us. like what i said about o-level results. we can choose to try to be content with it, and see the good in it as best as we can, or we can be upset about it and all. srp's just yet another thing in life we're given the opportunity to do, to be given the project, i'm of course happy about it, but even if u didn't get to do the specific project u wanted, it's not the end, yes? sighs.
+ serene @ 10:36 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 10:36 PM
Oh huang cheng was fantastic! the acting was professional, and so was the whole stage set...and the plot was terrific! *beambeam* It's like seemingly superficial, but has such a deep underlying meaning to it all...especially the first one..it started off with this scene of toys in a toy box, and showed the daily routines of the toys...how they obey their masters (children) and all...then it suddenly went to this present-day real world situation of people and their work attitudes e.t.c. hmm. and there was this thing about the "chinese train" which basically really meant how people are now in this mad rush to learn chinese because they think the future is in China..as well as how people in Singapore are afraid to follow their dreams and go for a career in the arts. yeah well...being as wols or etnel *grin* as i am...it took me a while to realise the actual significance of the toys in this particular play..how the toys actually represent Singaporeans, who are so easily manipulated by influences in their surroundings, and just tend to follow blindly without asking why they (b>have to do that. And at the end, this puppet who questioned his reason for his existence got his strings cut, and i guess it represents how if u choose the alternative instead of the norm, you'd tend to lose support from people around you. hmm. deep yes?? *grin* haha the next two were fun too, less deep, but certainly easier to understand..the second one was about dying with regrets, and the last was about how differences can be resolved with compromises. oh yay, i can't stop babbling about it...i really thought it rocked! can't believe i only knew of the existence of huang cheng like this year..eeks. so damn wols. :)
sighs. i'm really dying for most of the subjects in school lah..can't do maths, can't do physics (*thinks sucky physics test*), can't do chem (*thinks horrible chemical bonding*). eeks. i'm whining again...whine whine whine =)
oh but am on a high recently!!! i got into SRP!!! *beam* eeks. that must have sounded quite insensitive to people who didn't get in...sorrie =( hai..can't go for 412 class camp now though...and neither can xiz and yun...cos we have to go for this SRP congress thing...sorry everyone, especially jen, who arranged it...=) i might try to rush down there after that, but quite pointless, since i can't stay over anyway...argh. =(
+ serene @ 11:27 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 11:27 AM
why is it that nothing is going into my head for chem? and physics, and maths too, for that matter. as fun as lectures are, it isn't very comforting when 1 hour 20 minutes of teaching doesn't help me understand chemical bonding at all. and dynamics. and mathematical induction. i feel so stupid. urgh.
and oh. huang cheng tomorrow. at least that's something to look forward to.
+ serene @ 8:12 PM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 8:12 PM
reflections
There're so many things in my life that i miss...and i realise how lucky i've been for most of life, especially my last two years in rgs. Those 2 years which we spent most of time doing nonsensical stuff...confessing our deepest darkest secrets *grin*...and indulging in scandalous affairs of one another. Those were the days. When i went back to rgs yesterday, and we all sang the school song together, i just started crying...tears of happiness for what rgs has given me, the many many opportunities i got in my 4 years...for all the friends i have found whom i can count on no matter what, as well as tears of sadness, because i'm no longer physically a part of it, though i will be, forever, in my heart. Sisters in learning, and sisters at heart, life lies before us, here's luck to the start. It was only yesterday that i truly listened to each and every word in the song, and i remember how we used to dread to have to go through the process of assembly and all, and i feel sad that i didn't treasure those times more. That i didn't sing the school song more often with pride. Whole hearted truth, with pride and ardour burning.That it took me so long to realise just how much i love my school. Je t'aime beaucoup, mon amour, avec mon esprit entier, avec mon coeur entier, avec mon entier tout.
I believe that whatever all of us got yesterday, it was for a reason, a reason known only to God at this point in time, and perhaps, a reason that will come to us, and that we will understand in the future. So i accept it, even though i don't like it, but i accept it. Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy 31:6
Footprints in the sand
"One night I had a dream --
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord,
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;
One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way;
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child.
I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."
Truly, i believe this is one of those times, when our faith is being tested and can be tried, but we have to believe that this is for a reason, that we are being carried, so take care, and God bless.
+ serene @ 2:15 AM
* [ serene ] r e m e m b e r s again * 2:15 AM
i am
ant writing revived
sunny
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j(ad)ed
crys
jen
ili
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the tucksombong gang! :)
tzeyeong
audrey
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